EDITOR’S NOTE: This is an anonymous post that’s been shared on social media and because I have several important people in my life who have lost loved ones to suicide, I wanted to share it … but especially after hugging my nephew as he picked up his son that was spending some time with his aunt and uncle on the coast, much like his father, and I found out he was headed to a funeral for a close friend who had suicided. Another young man with seemingly everything to live for … gone too soon. Please reach out if you or someone you know needs help, or just someone to talk to, or text or message or go online. There is help and there is hope.
Warning: This writing deals with suicide and the needs of families.
From a parent whose child suicided…
What grieving parents (and siblings, grandparents, aunties and uncles, cousins) need but don’t always have the strength to say:
* We need you to mention our child’s name. Not just on their birthday, but other times too.
* We need you to know that just because we may hide it well, doesn’t mean we’re not struggling inside.
*We need you to know that we don’t always want to have to remind you about our child. We secretly wish you would remember on your own.
*We need you to know that every day is a challenge no matter how much time has passed.
*We need to you acknowledge our pain.
*We need you to know that the memories flood our thoughts.
*We need you to know that all those things other kids their age (young &old) are doing, hurts to see sometimes.
*We need you to know that crying helps us.
*We need you to know that sometimes we don’t want to talk, we just want to be held and sit in silence.
*We need you to know it only takes one second to go back to that horrific day.
*We need you to know that the flashbacks can be relentless.
*We need you to know that we’re not the same person we used to be.
*We need you to check on us because we probably won’t reach out to you.
*We need you to know that it’s not only twice a year we feel intense sadness, but everyday we’re aware of their absence.
*We need you to invite us places even though we may not go.
*We need you to know that we crave being around others who have experienced the same heartbreak.
*We need you to know why we still have their belongings everywhere.
*We need you to know that we need your friendship and love, but we may not be the best friend in return.
*We need you to know that the guilt we carry sometimes gets too heavy.
*We need you to know that we live in two worlds; half of our heart is here and the other with our child in heaven.
*We need you to know that there’s no way you could possibly understand unless you’ve had a child die too.
