By Deb Montgomery, Life Coach
I was camping this weekend near Newport, Oregon. I just love sitting by fires morning and evening, connecting with friends under the stars, and sleeping in our little Delica L300. It’s always a blend of intention around food and activity choices, as well as a slow descent into messy and grubby. Dirt under the nails, the same clothes for a day or two and scruffy hair. Mid morning as I was washing my hands before leaving the campsite bathroom, a kid, I’m going to guess about 15 years old, says to me, in her Australian accent, “I love your outfit!” I was wearing my black rubber boots, sweatpants, a puffer jacket, sweatshirt, and toque (tuque if you’re French Canadian). I turned around and said, “Why thank you! I’m pretty much wearing my pajamas ya know?” And she said, “So Real! I love it!” I think her Australian accent added to the delightfulness of the moment.
I walked away and later looked up the expression, “So real.” You all may know this, and I may be the last to know, but it is a popular expression for Gen Z and refers to relatability, vulnerability, and imperfections.
One of the things I really love about being a Personal Life Coach is that I get to join clients on a walk (or meet virtually) and talk about something that for that person is so real. Walking together, there is space that opens up for some deeper meaning making. The beauty of being so real with others is that it facilitates a connection and portal that opens something up in us that can facilitate a new direction or posture.
I know that when I share something that has deep meaning for me even if it is completely messy and unsorted, there is a levity that accompanies the sharing of the issue. Lifting something heavy, like a huge chair, can be so much easier with another person helping you. Lifting something heavy inside of you, like a grief or a puzzling emotion, can also be so much easier if you aren’t doing it alone. After a walk with a client a while back, he said to me, “I feel taller. I feel like I’m walking taller.” A grief expressed, a fear told, a stuck place described can leave us all feeling a little taller. Vulnerability is a muscle that when flexed in appropriate places can leave us feeling like we walk a little taller. So real.
Deb Montgomery is a Songwriter and Certified Life Coach.