By Neal Lemery
“It’s not about who you impress, it is who you impact.” –Facebook post I shared today.
Today, part of our community is joining together to celebrate the life and message of a true community mover and shaker, Lee Blackmon. There are glowing tributes, meaningful celebrations, and acts of community kindness today in his honor.
I didn’t know him, but I’ve felt the kindnesses and gifts he brought to the community. It seems that his life was well-lived, that he had a profound impact on many lives. And, if I thought about it and asked around, I would see my own life benefitting from what he did, his many kindnesses, and shared wisdom.
If I pay much attention to the commercial media, as well as all the “social media” postings that now can occupy much of our attention, I would think that the purpose of our lives, and the function of our communities, is to impress others, to be rabid consumers, to live in the here and now, and not spend much time or treasure into helping others, into building a better world for tomorrow.
It seems that much of the purpose of social media is to express derision, criticism, and sarcastic remarks. I dissent from such views, believing that such technological wonders and popularity can be used for positive, constructive community building and healing.
Last week, we got busy with a lot of community activities. It was Charity Drive week, when our high school students engage with the community in a whirlwind of dinners, car washes, scrap metal drives, bake sales, and many other fundraisers. Everyone gets into the spirit of the week, and there are lots of socializing going on at all the community breakfasts, teas, and dinners. We catch up with friends, get to know others a lot more, and enjoy watching the students be the waiters, cooks, car washers, and all-around helpers and workers in the community.
Half of the money raised goes to a children’s hospital in Portland, and half stays here, awarded by the students as grants to a wide variety of local non-profits. Gifts that keep on giving.
I’d like to think that all the Charity Drive generosity and community service also is a way of honoring Mr. Blackmon and carrying on his spirit of community building. I’m enjoying that message and that tsunami wave of community service and caretaking. It runs counter to the dreariness and sarcastic atmosphere of the nationwide conversations about politics and how the country is doing.
I don’t see much on my social media feeds about this week of community generosity and good works. That message doesn’t seem to be one of the aims of our technological addictions of telling our stories and extolling our moral principles of service and charity when we grab our computer-chipped megaphones and proceed to proclaim our chosen messages to the community. We can spread a lot of hate and discontent, and forget that we need to be builders and healers.
In this age of instant messaging and self publishing, each of us is, in actuality, our own editor and publisher. We get to control and edit the messengers of our own choosing. We apparently have chosen to mostly be gossipy, snide, and sarcastic, not writing and posting with sensitivity or compassion.
My question is what is our intent with such communication tools?
For me, part of Charity Drive Week is also about self-care. To truly help others, I first need to help myself be a healthier, more gentle force for change and kindness in the community. Some recent work with a physical therapist has boosted my desire to eat better, exercise more often and in better ways, and to welcome time every day to practice self-care, and self-appreciation. My physical therapist quietly suggests this work is a practice of mental health and spirituality. I’ve taken those less than subtle comments and refocused myself. I’m cleaning up my act, so to speak, and taking time for me, quality time.
I know enough about me and the human condition that fundamental and long-lasting change only comes about over time. A new habit, practiced daily, takes at least three weeks to become even minimally established in one’s routine. New to me ideas about nutrition and exercise also take a significant amount of time before the body can respond, and before the impact of good practices start to be noticed.
My stubborn self likes to take on those challenges, those desires to change my ways and live better. Usually, my stubbornness is good for perpetuating the bad habit, but I can also marshall this family trait into a force for real and consistent change. Good change, based on medical science and the ever-evolving thinking of practitioners of the healing arts. I like to think that I’m on that band wagon, that I am a positive force for change.
Real change comes in a several ways, including mobilizing my inner forces for change, and the community voices asking for change, supporting our collective growth and education.
I’m inspired by community heroes and leaders like Lee Blackmon, who see issues and needs, and then answer the call. Each of us can make a difference, and real change begins with each of us.
Books: NEW book – BE THE CHANGE – One Random Act of Kindness at a Time; Neal’s other books include: Building Community: Rural Voices for Hope and Change; Finding My Muse on Main Street, Homegrown Tomatoes, and Mentoring Boys to Men