By Lianne Thompson
If you had to pick two words to describe yourself, what would they be? You might not spend much time in mental exercises like this, but when my birthday rolls around, I do. It’s an exercise in self-awareness. This year, my two words are “tender” and “pragmatic.”
Once upon a time, long ago and far away, I came home from school with a little prayer, a grace to say before eating meals. We thanked our “tender Father” for “all Thy world so fair.” It expressed gratitude for the generosity of a kindly deity. Maybe if I said it often enough, my own father would be kinder and more tender. Worthwhile trying to be that way myself, too.
On February 21, 2024, at a meeting of the Clatsop County Board of Commissioners, I listened to the Clatsop County Sheriff and community mental health and social service providers describe the developing network of support available to a variety of people in need who live in Clatsop County. The speakers expressed tender compassion, but they also expressed a pragmatic view of the world.
Pragmatism relates to facts, the realities of the material world. It implies truth-telling, not lying about or avoiding reality. It’s not kind or cruel; it’s actual. Pragmatism can be empowering or disempowering, depending on the parts of reality we notice and respond to. All perception is selective, and we choose what we notice. There’s a whole, more complicated conversation to have about that concept. Let me know if you’re interested in having a chat about it!
In Clatsop County, we have an effective and inspiring collaboration between law enforcement, mental health providers, and social service workers. What makes it work is a balance of tenderness and a pragmatic appraisal of the hard work and challenges in healing and reclaiming human lives. It’s essential that we do this healing work together as a community if we are to reclaim and save our world, but it’s no easy thing to do.
Most of us struggle. Nobody succeeds at every single thing they try. How we deal with our life’s experience of success and failure defines our individual growth and development. Some of us pass a tipping point in our lives that leaves us homeless or mentally ill or using drugs to numb pain, fear, or rage. If I’m not describing you, maybe I’m describing someone you know.
So many factors such as accidents of birth or circumstances, a lucky break, a cultural bias that lifts us up or tears us down: all these and so much more go into the mix. And then we see what we can cook up. How we define ourselves and how we interact with each other creates the community and the world we live in, all together as part of a system.
Some of us like to put words onto our experience. Some only focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Both are valid, and we’re all in it together.