*EDITOR’S NOTE: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a common neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain handles attention, impulse control, and activity levels. It starts in childhood and often lasts into adulthood, causing challenges with focus, organization, and daily tasks.
By Denise Donahue, MEd
(Warning: This article may contain sudden topic changes, unfinished thoughts, and absolutely no idea where I put my glasses.)
It was a typical day. It started off like any other day, with hopes and dreams. Hopes of getting stuff done. Dreams of what it will look like when it’s done.
On this particular morning, I decided that I would skip inserting contact lenses in my eyes and wear my glasses instead. I’m pretty stoked about my new glasses. You know the process of going to the eye doctor, trying on 8,000 pairs before you finally decide on a pair you like, and then when you get them and put them on, they don’t look anything like they did in the store? I swear there’s trick lighting.
But these glasses, I actually liked. I’d only owned them for three days, until they became lost in the abyss of my home.
So I set out to find my glasses, determined that I would be wearing them all day. However, when I went into my bedroom, I noticed a pile of laundry on the floor and thought, I should probably do that. I’m going to need clean clothes, especially whites. I don’t have any more white T-shirts.
(Above is a real time image of my actual pile…don’t judge.)
So I started gathering my laundry together, only to notice there was no basket to put it in. The basket was downstairs in the laundry room.
I went downstairs to get the basket, walking by a sink full of dishes, and thought to myself, I really need to put those in the dishwasher. So I opened up the dishwasher, only to find it completely full.
I looked at the completely full dishwasher. Shut the door and thought… “I’ll do that later.”
I left the kitchen without putting away a single dish and headed back toward the laundry room to do my laundry. Somewhere along the way, I apparently abandoned that mission too, because I was heading upstairs again to complete my original mission, which at this point I pretty much probably already forgotten what the original mission was, when my phone notification went off.
Giving it a quick glance, I noticed I had a Facebook notification. I clicked on it to see that someone had liked my story. Yay, I thought.
Then I started looking at other people’s stories. Before long, I was scrolling through Facebook like it was my job for what seemed like hours, but was realistically only about 30 minutes.
It was at this point that I looked up and realized:
What the hell am I doing with my life?
I never thought adult ADHD was real. Working in a school system for 25+ years, it was a diagnosis we gave children, and if I’m being totally honest, more specifically young boys. But an adult with ADHD? Is that really a thing? Apparently, it is. And according to my doctor, I have it. So now what do I do?
Clearly, laundry is not the answer. Although, even as I’m writing this article, I’m already making a list in my head of all the things I need to do today but probably won’t get done. When you’re trying to be a successful adult, that’s not really a good thing. Especially if one of your tasks is to pay the bills.
I certainly don’t like waiting for the pink envelope to come in the mail, but I get my fair share of those, and they usually end up at the bottom of my car with a muddy footprint stamped on them. I mean, there are just some things in life you can’t use ADHD as an excuse for. But I digress.
So I think back to my childhood. Did my mom and dad suffer from this too? I don’t think they did. But when talking to my friends and loved ones, I’ve realized I’m not alone in this battle. There are so many people out there fighting motivation.
We could dive into all the research about why ADHD diagnoses have increased, and I am going to blame my phone for at least some of it. I think that has a lot to do with my ability to get distracted. But I think what’s more important is sharing some of the tips that have helped me and my clients who suffer from a serious case of lack-of-motivation-itis!
If you’re a Mel Robbins fan, and I am, she talks about the Five Second Rule. And no, I’m not talking about when you drop an Oreo cookie on the ground and pick it up five seconds later, blow off the dust, and say, “It’s fine. It was only on the floor for five seconds.”
The Five Second Rule is basically the idea that your brain has about five seconds to talk you out of whatever you need to do. Whether it’s getting out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button, getting off the couch and doing those dishes, or, in my case, staring at the pink envelope and deciding whether to walk away or open it. (Spoiler alert…I usually walk away.)
So if we know motivation is fleeting, one moment we have it and another moment we don’t, we can’t rely on motivation to get things done. Mel says to interrupt that brain process because your brain is about to talk you out of whatever you were supposed to accomplish. Count backward: five, four, three, two, one, and rip off the Band-Aid. Do something that brings you one step closer to actually getting it done.
It seems simple enough, but it’s very effective, and it has worked for me. Literally, if your brain has five seconds to talk you out of an activity, then you have five seconds to talk yourself into it as well, simply by taking one step closer to doing it.
What’s up with checklists? Why is it so super gratifying to write out a list of items and put that little blank checkmark box next to each one? And when I knock an item off my list, I don’t just check the box. I put a line through the task as well, so I can actually see the list dwindling and dwindling. Now that’s gratifying. Now, I know what you’re thinking because I’m thinking the same thing: writing the list takes effort too. That’s where I stands behind the Five Second Rule.
Write the damn list, Denise!
For me, sometimes the best medicine for my ADHD isn’t found in a bottle. It’s simply breaking the task down. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m going to clean the whole house today” (and let’s face it, that’s not gonna happen) I break it down by task. I’m going to clean one room today.
(The Adderall that I can never remember to take!)
Or even simpler, instead of saying, “I’m going to clean the kitchen,” I might just walk in and say, “I’m just gonna empty the dishwasher.” Chances are that one chore will lead to another chore, and I’ll actually start to get shit done.
With my clients, I call this “clearing out the clutter.” Just take one small task, clear it out, and make room in your brain for another small task to be accomplished. The beauty of this technique is how gratifying it feels when you turn around and realize you actually got something done. And when that happens, it can spark…dare I say the M-word?…motivation to continue adulting.
Speaking of adulting, clearly I have lots to do today, and writing an article is definitely one of my procrastination tools. So I hate to just end the article and leave you high and dry, but as I’m sitting here writing this, I just remembered it’s garbage day, and I need to bring the barrels down to the street.
Which reminds me, I probably should pay my bill before they stop collecting my garbage. But I just remembered, in order to pay my bill, I need to see it. Which means I gotta go find my glasses.
