A Letter from GEEZER WORLD

Dear Mother Nature,

The last thing I want to do right now is make you more upset than you already are. I want you to know that I’m here for you but I’m running out of words to defend your ways with weather. I can champion any other category…wildlife, plants, water, sky…even dirt. I can talk about dirt and make it sound great, but lately, I’m in trouble.

Two days ago we had 50mph winds and driving rain. After the bird water thawed yesterday, we sat in the sun on the porch for approximately ten minutes. Mr. S should get bonus points because he made it for about an hour. I went back to the house when I couldn’t feel my fingers.

If I seem a little TENSE it is because I am. I’ve got Heebie-Jeebies or something kind of like that. Things are just not right. It’s as if you are trying to make me a little crazier this year than any year before. You and I know, that’s a lot of years and a lot of crazy.

This is the time of year most of us get a little ‘stir crazy’… but this year is more like the “frappe” speed on a blender. I never quite understood that setting…but it may be starting to make sense.

As the months progress, I’m concerned about your well-being. Are you taking cooking classes for new types of weather patterns? If so, it would be great if you could pick one new recipe and stick with it. No. Please don’t tell me you’ve already done that. If so, go back to the kitchen.

Maybe you’ve been reading a lot of Stephen King novels? I beg you to try something else. Avoid “The Perfect Storm” and read something with ‘Marigold Hotel’ in the title. This applies to movies, too. Avert eyes and ears from anything which depicts the end of the world and try out ‘Mamma Mia’ or The Hundred Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out His Window.”

I’m worried that you’ve been messing with your supplements. Did you change one of your natural, organic, herbal antidepressants? Did you misplace your lavender lotion for something in the mint family? Are there mushrooms in your diet?

You need to know how things are at “ground level.” The ants are back. Yes, I know they need a place to live. No, I do not want them ‘in the house’. They can be under, around and over…but not “in”. Oh, and the hummingbirds have become ‘assault aircraft’ this year. They “dive-bomb” the waitress (that’s me). What’s with this attitude? Moles, voles, and “you dirty rats”, are multiplied. It’s a banner year for varmints, flying and crawling things.

Some days I just have to sit, smiling and stare out the window at the driving rain. Why? You have taught me to be gosh-darned happy that it’s not snow.

Despite your efforts to shake my faith, the world is coming alive again. Willows are greening and alders are blushing. Some daffodils have dared to rise up and tulips aren’t far behind. There is color everywhere. Please…don’t let this go to your head. Thanks for that…no more snow, please.

If you keep this up, our car will be covered in pollen and we will sneeze at each other instead of talking. Then, we’ll know that Spring has really arrived.

In the meantime, I just wanted you to know that I lost a lot of plants this year due to your antics. Why? I optimistically read the labels and you got a little crazy. This year? I will try to raise the same plants because it’s a game we play. When I put my eggplant and chili seeds in the ground, I will see you smile and you will see me smile back.

So, I thought you should know, that with all our complaints and whining, we are thankful for the rain and the snow pack. We are thankful for full rivers, reservoirs and dams. This gives us another year to decide how best to give back to you…but there is that ‘ant’ issue we need to resolve…


Your Geezer World friends

Linda Shaffer and Grover