By Linda Shaffer
We are in the second week of December and so far the only Christmas card I have received is from a local merchant. It’s an advertisement but I appreciate the gesture. By now, I’m usually having guilt because I have not sent Christmas cards to family and friends. This year I have not sent those cards to anyone. I have not gotten a Christmas card from family or friends yet. This is not an ordinary year for any of us. We need more happiness and less anger. We need more acceptance and less sadness. We need a stress-free Christmas. To help out, I’m organizing a guilt-free smaller holiday celebration and you’re invited.
The older we get, the more difficult it is to accept what we sometimes believe is unacceptable. We are made of tough material though and steeled by each year added to our number. As we are busy counting, our beloved friends and family members are leaving our world because they are getting old too. Each year takes a toll and we are left to make the very best of each day. It’s only as tough as you might want to make it…so don’t.
There’s nothing like the holidays to bring the full scale of emotion to life. This year I’m asking you to give up guilt. We’re going to start with Christmas cards. Last year, while Mr. S was dying, I bought more Christmas cards than I had in the previous four years. I must have thought I would need them to tell everyone in the universe that he died and everything was OK. This year I know he has gone and anyone who mattered in his life knows that. They don’t need a card if I’m unable to write. Please note this means cards may go out in any month you and I choose and when we are ready to write in them. Printed letters are applauded in my guilt-free plan, along with mailing labels if you are clever enough to make them.
Next up, prune that tree if you haven’t already. I have finally figured out that if Christmas gets out of your control, it’s hard to be happy about it. I love this holiday and won’t give it up, but I will cut it down to my size. Truly, no one cares about this but me. I went from a 6’ tree last year to a 3’ tree and so far, the cat hasn’t knocked it over. Yup, it’s a fake with battery lights, a timer and its own stand. My daughter helped me. I love it. There are about a fourth of my holiday decorations up. Turns out, that’s just right because it’s my job to put them away. In the old days I used to put up decorations and lights everywhere…even in bathrooms. I bet some of you did, too. I put lights on resin grapes in white cherubs. Ah, the seventies. We’ve come a long way, baby.
Now to gifts. If you have been fussing about his one, please stop. Old people have the gift of great memories to share. Why not share a journal of the birth of one of your children or grandchildren? A lot of us make really cool things by hand. We give the best hugs and offer up love like no one else can. We make good cookies. I think we are remarkable, yet we sometimes fuss over whether or not we are giving enough gifts, or big enough gifts or any gifts at all. Being old doesn’t mean you have a lot of money to buy stuff. Stuff doesn’t mean you love someone anyway. If you are unable to shop, it should not be a problem for the people you love. Perfect gifts can be found and you can get them if you want to but if you don’t or can’t find them, don’t end up feeling sad about it. I have a closet shelf where I keep special small things found for special people during the year. My problem is that I get excited and usually give them away before Christmas. This is an unintended part of the no-guilt plan.
I can’t make sweets and holiday foods like I once did and I don’t wrap packages now. Does anyone care? Nope. I used to love doing these things. I still love the holidays. It starts for me on Thanksgiving when I watch Macy’s Parade and the National Dog Show. It does not end until the Rose Parade. I watch Hallmark movies and still believe in Santa. I am content to see pictures of my kids and grands and great-grands and all of you celebrating. It makes me happy.
The one thing I do miss about the holidays is that I am no longer able to attend my Garriott family celebration or visit family in the Great Valley. I’m not very portable but I like it here in my guilt-free zone. The cat only bites me once a month or so and I have good friends and a daughter right next door. Consider making your holidays guilt-free. It only hurts for a little while.
Have a great week my friends!
