By Linda Shaffer
OK, I admit to being a newspaper person for most of my life which means I want to shorten the word obituary to obit. Either way it’s a derivative of the Latin obiit which simply means “he went away or he died.” Since she isn’t included, we have more fuel to add to the women’s rights fire. Apparently not all of us died in Latin so I’m not sure what women did to take its place. Not being one to make a fuss after the fact, I’ll let this go. What’s a couple of thousand years anyway?
What you need to know is that there are certain things people love to read in local newspapers. For me, these are facts. Every survey I was ever part of said the same things, over and over. The largest percentage of readers are dedicated to letters to the editor, editorials, police records and obituaries. A smaller percentage, though just as dedicated and even more vocal are folks who love local school sports. These are the things at the heart of the community. These are the things people care about.
My fascination with obituaries started 50 years ago when I edited and typed them in during a typesetter emergency. The rules of punctuation scared me to death because nobody wants to get the wrong mark in the wrong place in someone’s family relationships. Yikes. Once over that hurdle, I began to enjoy the stories being told and all the names of people and places and families. I fell in love with those life stories and have read them ever since.
It doesn’t matter to me whether they are people I know or even if they are in my own newspaper. I read obituaries wherever I find them. They never disappoint. They are the stories of people and how they spent their time in this life. Depending on what is included, we can learn about their parents and their history, their loves, their jobs, their children, hobbies, faith and so much more. The details involved in some of these writings are very, very funny. Some descriptions are sober but I don’t think they are meant to be sad. Death has already taken that part. The remainder of the person is there for you to get to know…even after their bodies are gone.
Though people of our generation are dying pretty regularly, you may have noticed that the number of obituaries hasn’t kept pace. Why? Obits used to be free. They still are in some places. The Tillamook County Pioneer is one. I paid for Mr. S’s obit in a local newspaper and it would not be an easy amount for most families to handle. More than most, I understand the need for profitability but to me this is a humanitarian issue. If letters to the editor of great length are free it seems obits should be easier on family budgets.
Off the soapbox and back to the reality. Death is the ultimate time for celebration of life. With the formality of funerals losing popularity, people are finding alternatives to end of life routines. Obituaries are one of the few ways left to create a record of a life which mattered. Yes, I know there are things called, “Death Notices.” In my mind, that’s just not enough. I already know that behind the name, birth and death dates there is a real human being who spent a life among us.
If you need further proof, please look up the funniest obituaries. You will find they are written by the person who has died, one of their children or a best friend. I’m surprised more spouses aren’t involved but I can understand. One thing they all share is the spark of life that continues on. The proof is in the obit. My grandparents obituaries listed 8 children and (eventually) 24 grandchildren, of whom I am the elder. Our kids have been busy. They made children who made more children and so on. It will take someone of significant means to write an obituary listing all the cousins, nieces, nephews and other meaningful details of any of our lives. I’d love to see this one.
I want you to start reading obituaries because I think it is a good way to meet new friends and appreciate life. I also want you to get involved in your own obituary. You are the best source of information of your life. Me? I’m going to write my obituary as a “Letter to the Editor” so my kids don’t have to pay for it. I have plans. You betcha’.
Have a great week my friends!
