We must stop centering men, as the only voice, and open dialogue to include more women
By Christy Kay
I have spent the last few months working on an article, that I had planned to use as my debut to this platform, Substack. But a few days before I was set to post it, I was made aware of some disturbing news. You see, the article was created out of the words of one of the most revered Grief Group leaders in the US. My writing began from a few sentences of his latest book, and then became a three page article of my writing. I spent much time and energy writing and rewriting until I had finally felt I had said what I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it.
And then the news broke. This man, this teacher and grief tender, used his power, privilege and position to take advantage of women in their most vulnerable state. Not only was this unethical, in a professional manner, he is a therapist who is held to a standard of care and protocols, to protect clients, it was deplorable on the morality scale. It started with one woman speaking out, and soon after there came more women voices, saying, me too.
And this is how it becomes all men. How do we know who is safe, and who is not? We don’t.
A few days later, the story of the Cornell 57 broke.
So, I have been sitting in my anger and rage, heartbreak and despair. Another man, doing terrible things, and taking no accountability for it. Yes, he denies it, well parts of it. He does acknowledge he made a mistake, once, but he does not take responsibility for the rest of it – the prolonged abuse, how he used his position to harm vulnerable women, how his role as a licensed professional holds him to a higher standard that he failed to meet, and the number of women that came forward. And he is not the only predator to be exposed in the billion-dollar wellness industry this year. It is staggering how many proclaimed gurus’ dangerous and abusive actions have come to light.
I am frustrated and I feel that whole article I wrote, which is not actually about men or abuse, is now tainted. That because the impetus for it was rooted in the writings of his that I resonated with, it is now all garbage.
How do we reconcile the actions, or lack of action and accountability, for the men who take advantage or harm women, while in placed of power? How do we separate their good writings and insights and work, from the depravity and lack of morality they exercise alongside it? Can we?
Let’s step back from the masculine toxicity that pervades and perpetuates throughout all of our systems and structures, and stop centering men, until it’s not “all men”. Maybe when we begin centering women’s voices and experiences, and allow women to lead, change can finally occur, and it won’t be business as usual.
What are your thoughts? Where do we go from here?
I am rewriting some of that article, to reflect the voice of women, and deleting his words and inclusion in my writing.
May justice and true accountability prevail, in all situations.
Be well, my friends.
For more information about Christy’s healing sessions, go to – www.cosmichealingnw.com
Follow Christy Kay on Substack – Subscribe here for more
