
By Neal Lemery
I’ve been on a spree of decluttering, downsizing, and bringing order to my house. I’ve realized I have hoarding tendencies, and that my lifestyle is messy, cluttered, and often drains me of creative energy and domestic tranquility. Yet I resist change, and hold on to my procrastinating lifestyle, despite my fancy talk of being organized and practical, and not beholden to my “things.” That hoarding thinking is an inconvenient truth, and I’ll still deny it.
I’ve never really gotten serious about cleaning out my junk and clutter. My life has been a pattern of moving to a bigger house, or simply not throwing things away when their useful function has passed. “I might need that someday.”
When grandparents and parents passed, it was simply easier to keep their treasures and add them to mine. The impetus for this new trend of purging came about when there was no more room on my bookshelves, and my wife asked me which one of our kids and other relatives would want a particular treasure of mine. The harsh reality was that no one would want my box of certificates, awards, trophies, and other detritus from my working days. They might recall a good story, but my keepsakes would be destined for the dumpster.
Besides, I needed more room on my bookshelf, and something had to go. Well, a lot of something had to go. I soon found myself rather vigorously filling a few boxes a week for the library donation bin. I added Habitat for Humanity for seldom used tools and home maintenance supplies, and most of my closet of seldom used clothes to the Goodwill bag.
The purging soon grew to a daily chore, and a habit of a trip into town to drop off previously valued treasures. I tried to think of the process as letting someone else benefit from my books, tools, shop supplies, clothes, and other items that, in all honesty, I had no further use for. I was helping out others, and I found that mindset to be comforting.
Friends were going through the same act of sorting, purging, donating, and otherwise cleaning out years of “stuff.” They found it liberating, too.
We realized we didn’t really need a half dozen kitchen whisks, or five of the same size pans. The most telling collection was the eight BBQ lighters. We truly aren’t serial arsonists, and need only one of them.
I found a pair of completely mismatched shoes, ones who had seen their better days, but still good enough to wear in the yard. Yet why would I keep a pair of shoes that didn’t match? Out they went, to the garbage. And, of course, two weeks later, I found another pair just like them. They went bye-bye, too, and the end result was probably what needed to happen. Was I really a shoe hoarder? I’m in denial.
I found real treasure, too. My grandmother’s childhood Bible, published in 1893, in German, with a handwritten list by her of all her kids’ births, marriages, and also the deaths of long lost relatives. Another treasure was a CD of my late aunt’s oral history telling of her childhood, college years, and life as a farmer and artist. I heard stories I had never heard before, and am making plans to copy the recording for all my nephews and nieces. It was a teary evening of hearing her voice again, thirty years after she had passed.
Yet, most of my former treasures were destined for the landfill, with us ordering an even larger “solid waste” container than our usual weekly needs. Taking on the garage’s collection, I soon established a regular relationship with the attendant at the landfill. I think the Goodwill man was secretly happy that my regular “gifting” was finally at an end. He one time referred to my regularity as “making order out of chaos.” He was being kind.
I’m realizing I still have enough clothes to be decent in public, that I don’t need seven sweatshirts, and that a supply of three tubes of toothpaste should hold me for a while. And I still have books to read, photos to peruse, and stuff on the coffee table to pick up and admire. My pile of birthday and anniversary cards will hold me for at least the next few years.
The TV home improvement series, This Old House, calls for rules of decluttering:
Set Up Decluttering Rules
“The urge to hang onto things you don’t really need can be strong—especially in light of all the “what ifs” involved in a move. Help yourself by setting some decluttering ground rules.
“The first step is sorting your things into four piles—keep, donate, throw out, and undecided. Come back to the undecided pile once everything else in the room has been sorted.
“Professional organizers have developed several methods for deciding what to do with “maybe” items. One example is the 20/20 rule, which suggests getting rid of anything that would take less than 20 minutes and $20 to replace. Another option is to purge anything you use less than 80% of the time.”
https://www.thisoldhouse.com/moving/downsizing-to-a-smaller-home
I’m proud of my progress. My house is a lot cleaner, life is a lot more manageable, and orderly. I’m less distracted, and still am able to function in life. I can still cook food, dress myself, and find things to amuse me. I still have some treasures, and, surprisingly, don’t miss the detritus on the coffee table, the overflowing bookshelves, or most of the tools that I seldom used. The library, Habitat and Goodwill are well-stocked, and life is a lot simpler. And, I now know that one coffee cup is really enough.

Books: NEW book – Recharging Ourselves, Building Community: Rural Voices for Hope and Change; Finding My Muse on Main Street, Homegrown Tomatoes, and Mentoring Boys to Men